I don’t know how else to function in relationships

I don’t know how else to function in relationships
There’s a pattern in my relationships.I get her to say yes to going out, and for a week or so things are fantastic. The sex is good and enthusiastic- foreplay works, she’s getting into it, I’m into it, we’re going places, she’s making time for me and I’m making time for her. Effort goes both ways. Then I fuck up. It doesn’t seem big- I forgot the name of one of her friends or something.And then it’s all downhill from there. Before I know it, she doesn’t have time for me, starts embarrassing me in front of people, starts talking about all the things I told her in private. She does these things to hurt, because it’s her way of showing that she loves me, right? I didn’t understand that the lyrics “the more you suffer, the more it shows you really care” were satirical. To me, they were genuine and heartfelt.I tell myself if I could just stop fucking up, maybe she’d stop yelling, and start loving me. Maybe she’d stop putting me dead last in her life. Maybe she’d treat me better. Maybe she’d act like I matter.And right now, every night, I go home and I walk past a stack of love letters that were full of lies from all my exes, to go lay my head on an empty bed. And I tell myself that I’m not sure it’s any better this way.I don’t know if these past relationships are normal, or if my expectations are too high. Then I see videos on youtube of girlfriends surprising their boyfriends with something pleasant. In my head, I’m wondering when she’ll start shouting, or if she’s about to drop it on the floor and start stomping on it. It practically doesn’t compute that she’s doing something nice for him. I’m wondering what on earth he did to earn or deserve or to receive such a kindness or gift, or whatever else- that there must be some angle, some power play involved. Maybe after the camera switches off and she’s shown his friends and family she is using it as political blackmail or as leverage.I don’t know if I should be told that this isn’t normal, in which case I can be relieved there is hope for better relationships and that the people I dated were exceptionally terrible/good liars in the love notes I have tucked away in my closet… or be heartened that these expectations are normal and that I simply have the wrong mindset about it and like James and the Giant Peach I just need to look at it another way.
Hum Tv Dramas Lyrics 2015
Submitted by EndTimesRadio

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s